How To Make A Friend

In a recent study on friendships, Dr. Nicholas Christakis at Harvard Medical School and John Fowler of University of California, San Diego report that our social network and how close or distant we are to the people in them, can affect our health and happiness!

As you all may already be aware, humans like wolves or dolphins are social animals. In other words, through nature and evolution it has been passed down to us genetically to seek friends and good relationships. No matter who you are, you can increase how happy you feel by making a friend. Remember you can never have too many friends and that there is no price on a sound relationship.

“”Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.” –Unknown


How To Make Friends – Over 25 Tips

1. Never criticize, condemn, or complain about anyone!

Here’s the thing, if you gossip to people, they realize you will gossip about them as well!

“I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.”- Benjamin Franklin

2. Sincerely tell others the things you appreciate about them.

3. Become genuinely interested in other people.

-You’ll make 10 times more friends by becoming interested in other people, than by trying to get them to become interested in you.

-Try asking them questions about what they care about.

Make Friends

Image copyright Chintermeyer – Flickr.com

4. Smile, smile, smile! People wish to be around those that are happy!

And be sure to complement the smile with a friendly, “hello”.

5. Refer to people by their name!

The most beautiful sound in the world to someone else is their name!

6. Be a good listener. Find ways to allow others the chance to talk about themselves.

-To truly make a friend, you must be willing to allow them to do “most of the talking”, which in reality becomes 50-50 because we rarely realize how much we talk about ourselves!

-Ask them questions about things they’ve talked about!

7. Be sure to build the other person up, make them feel important.

8. Show respect for others opinions

Avoid arguments and never hint towards them being wrong.

9. If you’re wrong about something admit fast and be empathetic. Man-Up!

10. Be respectful of other people’s ideas and desires; and seek interest in them.

11. Follow-up!

-If you meet someone you like, absolutely make sure you get ahold of them shorty after while the memory is fresh.

-E-mail, call, and/or invite them to spend more time with you, coffee or drinks is a great start.

12. Show excitement when you see people!

This may take practice but it makes others feel amazing.

13. Take care of someone when they are sick or in need.

This consideration and caring, means so much to others and they won’t forget it. A simple get well card or visit in the hospital would do the trick.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Bonnie Wasmun

14. Small talk

Practice starting small conversations with strangers around you. Sometimes the best friendships can come of these.

15. Find out what others like to do

If you share an interest do it together! If different spend time trying the activity that makes them happy and then introduce them to something that makes you shine.

16. Never let others badmouth the people you care about

If they see you defending others honor, they will feel safe if knowing you would defend theirs in reverse situation.

17. Never rush interactions with others!

To make friends, conversations with others should never be about efficiency, spend time on people. If you are calmer and more relaxed when speaking, you will make others feel as though your relationship is more genuine.

18. Stick to promises and commitments

If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there! This builds credibility and trust.

“Life is nothing without friendship.” -Marcus Tullius Cicero

19. Remember someone’s birthday

-This is huge! Many people use this as a true means of measuring a friendship.
-Use Facebook if you must for a reminder!

20. Be Positive!!! Be Nice.

-People are drawn to those who are positive and bring good energy to them.
-The glass is half full!

21. Don’t Judge

If someone is opening up to you and being honest, show your respect and try your hardest to understand their situation, it probably wasn’t easy for them to share.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”- Mother Teresa

22. Share Stuff (Give gifts)

This is goofy, but by simply showing generosity and sharing a piece of gum with someone, you have quadrupled your chances of them becoming a friend of yours.

23. Be Ready To Help Others

Sometimes people need help at the most random times, by showing them you are there for them during these times they’ll know that you’ll always be someone they can trust and count on.

24. Try And Heal Those Old Friendships from High-School or College

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

25. Face-Time builds the strongest relationships

Phone, internet, text messaging, etc. – is a great way to maintain a friendship but none of these options come close to actually spending time together!

26. Try and accept all invitations to do something

-People will stop inviting someone out to do things if they decline too often!
-Never turn down a free chance to get out there with other people. Especially if you’re a shy or solitary person, don’t let yourself justify not going!

27. Simple Formula For Guaranteed Lasting Friendships

Meet People -> Spend Time Together -> Consistently Continue To Spend Time Together -> Repeat

“The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Remember if you want a social life, you’ve got to make it happen for yourself. You plan the meet-ups, organize the when and where’s, and make the effort! Others will appreciate not having to do the leg work every time they wish to hang out with you. It is my wish that you all find many great friendships and enjoy the moments you spend with the great people you meet in the quest of life.

How Have These Strategies Helped You?

I’d love to hear your success stories about making friends, in the comments below!

But wait there’s more!

Currently single? – How to Be Happy Single and Alone.

For ideas on where to find new friend read our post – Where to Find Friends.

You may also like to read - Humor: How to Increase Happiness.

About TJ Chasteen

Hi! I'm TJ the creator of How-toBeHappy.com. I believe that nothing is more important than living a life full of daily happiness. That is my mission - I help my followers (and myself) design a life that easily produces happy moments everyday.

Comments

  1. lea says:

    Thankyou for writing this I have recently split from a abusive relationship and have had to relocate and stay with my parents sounds pathetic but I know its not.I have friends but moving to a new area away from them is difficult I will remember what your article says and try. Thanks for the tips

    • TJ says:

      Hi Lea,

      Yeah – that’s not pathetic at all. You are actually extremely courageous to get out of that situation. I realize how difficult and trapped you may have felt.

      I am glad to hear that I have helped you, please let me know how it turns out!

      Best,
      TJ

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